[Yahoo News] Jeshuah Fuller’s parents expected him to be born with extra fingers. The extra toes, though, were a surprise. (12 fingers is perfectly normal nowadays)
Jeshuah, healthy and weighing 7 pounds, was born in Brooklyn on Tuesday with 12 fingers and 12 toes. His rare condition, called polydactylism, is usually genetic.
Britney, take notes.
Karl Rove, deputy chief of staff to the Bush administration, announces his resignation, says he will be out by the end of the month.
Rove who wants to spend more time with his family, says, “I’ve got to do this for the sake of my family.” Family however says, “Don’t bother, you conniving fat face!”
Pack up your shit Conchita, you’re getting shipped back to Tijuana! You can thank Presitard Bush for that!
Presitard Bush is cracking down on defenseless Conchitas and Pablos across the nation. “The Bush administration announced numerous steps on Friday to secure the border with Mexico, speed the expulsion of illegal immigrants and step up enforcement of immigration laws,” administration officials told the NY Times.
“The effort stems, in part, from White House frustration with the failure of Congress to approve President Bush’s proposals to overhaul the nation’s immigration laws and grant legal status to most of the estimated 12 million illegal immigrants.”
Presitard doesn’t get what he wants. Presitard not happy at all. Presitard lashes back on poor people looking for a better future.
This presitard is alone and out-of-control! Put pretzels in his meals, puleeeeeze.
Does Dr. Evil have what it takes to satisfy this random gay voter?
“Gay men and lesbians have always had a soft spot for Hillary Clinton.” In the mid-’90s, in the White House Dr. Evil started socializing with a broad circle of people wearing Prada and Gucci shoes.
But for all her gay support, what has Clinton really done for gay rights?” Not much, some gay activists told Newsweek.
Outside the White House, Dr. Evil has had a harder time proving her straightforwardness (yes, that’s a word) with the gay community. “Her positions on major gay issues are identical to those taken by Al Gore eight years ago,” activists sob.
Coco Chanel mascara dripping here.
Mark our words. That woman will do whatever it takes to conquer the universe, even if it means dressing up as a drag queen with “frickin’ laser beams attached to her frickin’ head.”
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Guess Who has $45M to Conquer the World?
The Presitard answers questions after passing a 50 billion dollar bill to protect America from Zombies. Watch here!
Michael Wolff’s new website, Newser, gets the Gawker treatment: “It’s TMZ but completely devoid of celebrities and urgency and puns. It’s Yahoo! News without the exclamation point. It’s the dullest thing I’ve seen all day, and I’ve been staring into a jar of pennies for the last half hour.” [Gawker]
Website Jossip is allergic to Keith Olbermann’s face, headline reads:
“Excuse Us, We’ve Got A Minor Case Of Keith Olbermann - Symptoms Include Pompous Arrogance, Nerdy Glasses And Diarrhea Of The Mouth” [Jossip]
A quote from Presitard Bush to remind us that he is the leader loser of the free world for another 530 days:
“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” [Political Humor]
Deodorant-deprived French President Nicolas Sarkozy and butt boy. [Image via AP]
[NY Post] France’s stinkiest cheese, “Nicolas Sarkozy yesterday lost it with two American news photographers covering his New Hampshire vacation - jumped onto their boat and loudly berated them.
The men watched through their lenses as Cheesident Sarkozy pointed toward them and his boat began moving towards them. He then jumped aboard their boat and began shouting furiously in French.”
Looks like France lost another war or something.
[ABC] “The Shuttle Endeavour will launch a day later than scheduled, NASA officials told ABC News Friday. Specifically, weather slowed down replacement and testing of the shuttle’s pressure valve.”
A more likely explanation is that Nasa’s drunkonauts choked on their own vomit and scraped the $3m dashboard.
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Astronauts flying under the influence
“The Tupelo Buffalo Park and Zoo asked residents Tuesday to help in the recovery of a white-faced monkey that apparently managed to unlock his pen and escape,” the Associated Press reports.
“Park employee Ann Stewart said the monkey will respond to his own name and may take bait of bananas, pretzels and useless wars in Iraq. She urged people to call the park if they spot the mammal.”
The Rudymobile 2008 is all you need. - Rudy Giuliani
“Mr. Giuliani often compares health insurance to car insurance and he talks about how the owner of the car will pay for the small stuff like an oil change. So too, he suggests, with health care. A consumer can cover basic routine visits, choosing a package that matches the level of risk they are willing to take,” the New York Times reports.
Comparing humans to cars could be a reason not to vote for Rudy. Who knows?