Karl Rove, deputy chief of staff to the Bush administration, announces his resignation, says he will be out by the end of the month.
Rove who wants to spend more time with his family, says, “I’ve got to do this for the sake of my family.” Family however says, “Don’t bother, you conniving fat face!”
Pack up your shit Conchita, you’re getting shipped back to Tijuana! You can thank Presitard Bush for that!
Presitard Bush is cracking down on defenseless Conchitas and Pablos across the nation. “The Bush administration announced numerous steps on Friday to secure the border with Mexico, speed the expulsion of illegal immigrants and step up enforcement of immigration laws,” administration officials told the NY Times.
“The effort stems, in part, from White House frustration with the failure of Congress to approve President Bush’s proposals to overhaul the nation’s immigration laws and grant legal status to most of the estimated 12 million illegal immigrants.”
Presitard doesn’t get what he wants. Presitard not happy at all. Presitard lashes back on poor people looking for a better future.
This presitard is alone and out-of-control! Put pretzels in his meals, puleeeeeze.
Does Dr. Evil have what it takes to satisfy this random gay voter?
“Gay men and lesbians have always had a soft spot for Hillary Clinton.” In the mid-’90s, in the White House Dr. Evil started socializing with a broad circle of people wearing Prada and Gucci shoes.
But for all her gay support, what has Clinton really done for gay rights?” Not much, some gay activists told Newsweek.
Outside the White House, Dr. Evil has had a harder time proving her straightforwardness (yes, that’s a word) with the gay community. “Her positions on major gay issues are identical to those taken by Al Gore eight years ago,” activists sob.
Coco Chanel mascara dripping here.
Mark our words. That woman will do whatever it takes to conquer the universe, even if it means dressing up as a drag queen with “frickin’ laser beams attached to her frickin’ head.”
You may have missed:
Guess Who has $45M to Conquer the World?
The Presitard answers questions after passing a 50 billion dollar bill to protect America from Zombies. Watch here!
Powerwhore Hugo Chavez has lost it again (ok, it’s an old clip, but hey we like it)! This time he accuses Presitard Bush of being ignorant, dangerous and ill… No kidding Einstein!
Using words like donkey, coward and crazy to describe the U.S. Presitard, Che Guevara Wannabe couldn’t contain himself! It’s a fun watch!
McCain “My campaign is moving in the right direction.”
With no money, no staff and soon no friends, John McCain is still confident he can win the early primaries. “The goal is to win at least two of the three early 2008 battles and ride the momentum to victory in other important states.”
Unfortunately, Mr. McCain sees momentums and victories that exist only inside his head.
John might suffer from delusions of grandeur and is often disoriented. Anyone who has seen him is asked to call their local Delusional SWAT Team.
The Øbäma 2ÖÖ8 is also glow in the dark. [Image via Ikea]
We love the New Øbäma 2ÖÖ8! With its slick curves, who wouldn’t go for it? What’s even better is that the Øbäma 2ÖÖ8 can fit in any condo! (and it makes such a great addition to the bedroom…). Disinfect it with your favorite BS repellant and you’re all set!
Hurry though, the Øbäma 2ÖÖ8 is a limited edition and will soon be replaced by the more popular Hilläryous 2008 model.
(BS repellant not included)