My parents gave me a stupid name
A Chinese couple tried to name their baby “@,” claiming the character used in e-mail addresses echoed their love for the child, an official trying to whip the national language into line said Thursday.
The unusual name stands out especially in Chinese, which has no alphabet and instead uses tens of thousands of multi-stroke characters to represent words.
When he learned his name, the kid left a surprise in his diaper for his parents. [Reuters]
Nickelodeon fights fat kids
Fat kids beware! Nickelodeon announces intentions to set junk food limitations for its television characters, according to new reports. In particular, the restrictions will apply to “use of its licensed characters on food packaging for products that do not meet certain health criteria.”
In addition, Nickelodeon characters will also no longer be allowed to read fake newspapers other than those printed on recycled paper, drive non-Hybrid toon cars or purchase any/all ACME products until the company agrees to cease animal testing. [Jossip]
Fat corpses cause hazard for mortuaries
[Reuters] “More than two-thirds of Australians living outside major cities are overweight or obese, and extremely obese corpses are creating a safety hazard at mortuaries, according to two studies released Sunday.
Meanwhile, pathologists are calling for new “heavy-duty” autopsy facilities to cope with obese corpses that are difficult to move and dangerously heavy for standard-size trolleys and lifting hoists.”
Study shows fat pussies facing diabetes risk
[Reuters] “Overweight cats face a growing risk of developing diabetes, researchers in Scotland said on Tuesday.
Pampered fat pussies are three times more likely to develop the potentially fatal condition than cats of a normal weight. They have little to do all day but eat, sleep and gain weight.”
Sentence for ‘lesbian bigamist’
[The Sun] “A mom of five who ‘wed’ another woman while still married to her husband was given a suspended prison sentence today.”
Not related to Fat Kilmer, but we like the picture.
[Image via CelebrityBabylon]
Bible campers eat squirrels
[CP] “A counsellor at a northern Saskatchewan Bible camp is feeling the heat for killing and roasting a squirrel over a campfire. The man killed the rodent and wanted to prove that nothing should go to waste by skinning and roasting it.”
Baptist cuisine at its best, hmmmm, tastes squirrelicious!
NYPD: Drugs sold out of ice cream truck
[AP] “An ice cream truck parked in front of a junior high school was offering up cocaine and marijuana along with the soft serve, police said.”
Left: Whitney Houston snorting a good old-fashioned ice cream cone in front of a junior high school.
[Image via Flickr]
Ugliness has a Brand
[Telegraph] “Crocs are becoming the must-have shoe this summer for middle class families in Britain and, boy, do the Brits love their Crocs shoes!
Presumably because like their teeth they’re ugly, come in garish shades of green and are full of holes.” Fancy a pair o’ Crocs?
Nissan gets testy with drunks – Nicole Richie in deep shit
[Reuters] Nicole Richie booze-breaths beware. “A new concept car with breathalyser-like detection systems may provide even greater traction to keep impaired drunk drivers off the road. Nissan’s alcohol-detection sensors check odour, sweat and driver awareness.”
On all three counts, Nicole is screwed.
Bad bosses with ugly wigs get promoted, not punished
[Reuters] “How do people get ahead in the workplace? One way seems to be by making their subordinates miserable, according to a study released on Friday.”
Sounds like a study funded by Donald Trump and his Ugly Wigs Foundation. Damn you Donald!
EU makes soft porn film - Let’s come together
[Ananova] “The European Union has made a ’soft porn’ promotional film showing 18 couples having sex - including two gay couples.”
We wished a scratch and sniff version of the film would be released all over very soon. In the meantime, smell the copulation right here!