Welcome to themocker.com! TheMocker.com is a satirical news blog offering a biting mockery of current events, politicians and random personalities around the world.
Pack up your shit Conchita, you’re getting shipped back to Tijuana! You can thank Presitard Bush for that!
Presitard Bush is cracking down on defenseless Conchitas and Pablos across the nation. “The Bush administration announced numerous steps on Friday to secure the border with Mexico, speed the expulsion of illegal immigrants and step up enforcement of immigration laws,” administration officials told the NY Times.
“The effort stems, in part, from White House frustration with the failure of Congress to approve President Bush’s proposals to overhaul the nation’s immigration laws and grant legal status to most of the estimated 12 million illegal immigrants.”
Presitard doesn’t get what he wants. Presitard not happy at all. Presitard lashes back on poor people looking for a better future.
This presitard is alone and out-of-control! Put pretzels in his meals, puleeeeeze.
Michael Wolff’s new website, Newser, gets the Gawker treatment: “It’s TMZ but completely devoid of celebrities and urgency and puns. It’s Yahoo! News without the exclamation point. It’s the dullest thing I’ve seen all day, and I’ve been staring into a jar of pennies for the last half hour.” [Gawker]
Keith Olbermann’s Face Can Cause Diarrhea
Website Jossip is allergic to Keith Olbermann’s face, headline reads:
“Excuse Us, We’ve Got A Minor Case Of Keith Olbermann - Symptoms Include Pompous Arrogance, Nerdy Glasses And Diarrhea Of The Mouth” [Jossip]
A Reminder from the Presitard of the United States
A quote from Presitard Bush to remind us that he is the leader loser of the free world for another 530 days:
“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” [Political Humor]
“The Tupelo Buffalo Park and Zoo asked residents Tuesday to help in the recovery of a white-faced monkey that apparently managed to unlock his pen and escape,” the Associated Press reports.
“Park employee Ann Stewart said the monkey will respond to his own name and may take bait of bananas, pretzels and useless wars in Iraq. She urged people to call the park if they spot the mammal.”
Powerwhore Hugo Chavez has lost it again (ok, it’s an old clip, but hey we like it)! This time he accuses Presitard Bush of being ignorant, dangerous and ill… No kidding Einstein!
Using words like donkey, coward and crazy to describe the U.S. Presitard, Che Guevara Wannabe couldn’t contain himself! It’s a fun watch!
In yet another brilliant display of his brain power, Presitard Bush wrote that the first U.S. president was called Mr. G Tro N!? Is G Tro N even a name?
Bush was visiting a keyboard factory in Landover and was asked to type something. A partisan defending Georgie joked that the presitard was trying to write that “George Washington” was the first president. “Isn’t that funny?” he asked.
Ha. Ha. The last time I had this much fun, my dentist was drilling a deep hole in my gum.
Nice try Presitard Georgie, but somebody needs to go back to his History books big time.
